No – People Will Never Approve of You

I’ve learned something the past few days.  Something I already knew but often forget because I have such amazing people in my life.

I am a single teen mother, as most of you know.  I get judged constantly for it.  I’d say I’m a pretty damn good mother and am doing my best – but what have I done wrong?

Here, I’ll make a list for you.

  1. I had sex and had a child before marriage.
  2. I had sex and had a child before receiving a complete education (high school & college)
  3. I have received forms of public assistance in order to complete my education, and get a job to get myself on my feet so I can become a productive member of society.
  4. I am getting financial aid to pay for college so I can better myself and my daughter’s lives.
  5. I send my daughter to daycare so that I can work and make a living.

But here’s the thing, and what makes me mad the most.

How do you expect me to take back having sex and having a child before marriage and having a complete education?  Sorry, but life doesn’t have a rewind button.  It just doesn’t – so stop holding that over my head.  You should be happy I’m taking steps to be a productive member of society.

How do you expect me to complete my education without going to school?  Sorry but childcare isn’t free – and don’t suggest online school because I DID try that.

Same thing, how do you expect me to get a job to start getting on my feet without GOING to work?

All I have to say for financial aid is that almost anyone who is able to receive it – uses it.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Can you pay for college out of pocket?  No?  Exactly.

The last one is just too ridiculous for an explanation.

No matter what I do in life – I could cure cancer – I will ALWAYS be a failure to some people because of ONE thing I did with my at-the-time boy friend.

Thankfully I don’t rely on those people for approval of myself – I don’t rely on anyone for that.

I know I’m doing what I need to do to make a future for myself and my daughter.  Plus NEWSFLASH people I WORK – I PAY THE SAME TAXES AS YOU DO.  I’m paying for that public assistance just like all of you are.

PE

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Bye-Bye WordPress!

Well, it’s that time again.  Another semester of school is on the horizon (actually more like a few doors down).  Classes start on Monday and I’m going to be going to school full-time this semester; unlike the last.  I have a lot more on my plate now, and it’s exciting!

That’s why I wanted to let you all know that I will be gone for the next few months.  I want to give school my full attention so I can receive all A’s.  I would really like 100% on all of my assignments as well, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here.

Even though I will be leaving, I will go through all of my posts and schedule some of them to run again for the next few months.  Just to keep some conversations going, bring back some information and ideas, etc.  Especially for all of my new followers that I have recently gained!

I hope you all are having a great new year, and have a even better spring!

And for my racing fans and drivers out there, I will see you in just a few short months! 🙂

life is nothing but a game, you just have to learn how to play it

PE

Kiss My BUTT Finals!

In the past about two days I have written a total of 13 papers.  Which totalled around 31 pages total.  Let’s put it this way: I AM BEYOND ECSTATIC THAT I AM DONE WITH FINALS!

I have taken it upon myself to put together a collection of pictures to describe how I’ve felt these past couple weeks.

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So if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been through a :LOT and I am so happy it’s over.  Let’s just forget this whole finals thing ever happened, alright?

On another note, I may be switching to a tech school so I can get my degree faster, and have it job specific.  Not to mention it’s cheaper as well.  I just e-mailed them about a campus visit, woohoo!

Hopefully this means I’ll get to a better paying job to support Annabelle and I even sooner than I expected.  Crossing my fingers!

such is life

PE

That Hard Earned…

A!

and you know it’s the best feeling ever when you totally thought you bombed that assignment.

I had to write my first real college paper this past week.  I completely forgot about it up until the night before it was due.  Talk about sweating it hard that night… whew.  I thought it was the worst paper I’d ever written because the only requirement was that it had to be a minimum of 3 pages long.  I usually never worry about length requirements because I tend to explain things very thoroughly, and give lots of detail.  I typically write about twice the requirement.

I went online to check if my professor posted any new discussions only to see that “comments awaiting viewing” icon.  My heart started racing, and quite frankly I didn’t want to look at the computer.  I clicked on it, looked away, slowly looked back and YES 50/50!  I was on cloud 9 for about one second.

This is also my redemption from getting a C on my first project in another class.  That’s probably why I was nervous to look at my grade.  It’s not my first college A (especially if you include when I went to business school because I got all A’s and maybe one B), but it was my first ever paper and it was an A!  So I’m going to say that’s a success, right?  Right!

keep on working hard

PE

And That’s it

This is why I’m having such a hard time deciding on what I want to do!  This is my whole future.  I don’t want to have to do it all over again, I want to enjoy my life!

How did you decide on your career?  Do you love it?

why does it have to be such a short life

PE

Being Lost

Trying to find out what exactly you want to do with your life is, I think, one of the most difficult tasks everyone faces in life.

Today I had to meet with a counselor at my school for an assignment.  We had to talk about career opportunities for me.  Right now I’m in school to be a dietician but I don’t think it’s something I’m passionate about.  We talked a bit about how I want to be an entrepreneur but I don’t like taking risks.  I want to own my own graphics business so I can make graphics for race cars.  I also want to possibly own my own motor company so I can build motors for race cars.  I also want to grow my speaking career, maybe not by public speaking because I don’t necessarily want to travel, but maybe by this blog.  Growing my blog to the point that maybe I can make money with it like some people I know.

There’s so many possibilities for me and each one fits with my personality in different ways.

So for right now my “homework” is to explore more options out there and hopefully find something I really love to do.

This is the most lost I’ve ever been in my life.

everything will fall into place

PE

Asking for Help

I was working on a project for one of my classes and a paper for another when I realized something.

Back in high school (oh yeah less than 6 months ago ya know…that’s such a long time) when a teacher would hand me back a paper, or assignment with comments on it, if they weren’t positive I ignored them.  I hated being critiqued and I didn’t like asking for or receiving help.  Plus I felt like if I corrected those mistakes on the next assignment I was giving in to them and admitting I was wrong, and I used to have really big issues with admitting that I was wrong (I still do, but not as severe).

This past week I got a paper back from a professor with some helpful comments on it.  Some of which included things like, would be nice to have an intro and conclusion, more details, more examples, etc.  Normally I would hate that and toss it!  Now I’m in college, and guess what?  I take it like a big girl and improve on those mistakes!  It was my first college paper, so of course I’m going to have some things that need improvement.  We had another paper we had to write this week and you bet I made sure there was an intro and a conclusion, plus lots of examples with details!

You know how people say if a professor says something multiple times YOU BETTER REMEMBER IT BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT?  Yeah, this week was the first time that happened to me.

My professor was speaking about our first upcoming project that’s due this Monday.  He kept saying how if we wanted to we could send in a draft, even if it’s partially completed, to him and he would give us feedback.  He also stressed that almost all of his past students who did this received an A.  What did I do?  I started working on the project and set him a VERY rough draft and it was less than halfway completed.  He said I was going in the right direction and to keep doing what I was doing.  So I did.

He also stressed how much he would rather a student choose one part of a broad subject and go into great depth on it, rather than try and cover the WHOLE subject.  So what did I do?  I chose a smaller sub-topic of the subject I was covering and went into great depth on it.  Then I sent him my final draft so he could look it over one last time before I finalized it.  If I don’t get a good grade on this I will SCREAM! haha.

it’s okay to ask for and receive help

good luck to my fellow college students as they’re probably entering their first projects this week

PE

Back to the Real World – aka Being an Adult

What are you up to today?  Share!

After a 3 day weekend and Annabelle being at her Dad’s, I’m back to work today.  How exciting!  Right?  Eh, not really.

I have so much homework to do though which consists of:

  • Read Chapter 5 in my Relationships, Marriage, and Family textbook
  • Read 40 pages out of my First Year Experience textbook
  • Do a note taking worksheet (So BORING)
  • Read a 12 page article from the CBO on Immigration
  • Take my first quiz for Public Issues

I think there’s one or two other things but I can’t remember and I don’t feel like taking out my planner.  Yay college!

But I do have to say I’m glad we actually READ our textbooks in college, unlike high school where you lug around these ridiculously huge textbooks EVERY DAY and never use them!  Although, my school started getting a clue and made most textbooks online or just had a classroom set since obviously it’s a waste of money to buy every student a textbook and you only read maybe 50 pages.  Not even.

Welcome to adult world,

PE

When to Take a Break

I wrote a post a while back about making time for blogging, work, school, and parenting all together.  Each job is so demanding and there’s only 24hrs in the day.

As today is Sunday and Annabelle is at her fathers’ house I thought I’d get some schoolwork done.  To be honest, I have no ambition.  What happens when you have no ambition (or at least when I have no ambition)?  You don’t focus on your work the way you actually want to and should, plus you don’t absorb what you’re trying to.  For me this is the case.

So I decided I needed to take a break today from the crazy world of college.  I know I have things to do, but I also know that right now I’m not in the right frame of mind to be working on class work.

Instead, I’ll be here with you guys 🙂


Do you know when you need a break?  Or deserve one?  Do you actually take the break or push through?  How does that work for you in the end?

and the Doom Starts Here…

It’s my last week of summer and I have so much to do!  On the brightside I get to pick up my textbooks this week.  School starts next week and I’m pretty psyched!  However, my math class got cancelled so now I’m stuck in a relationships, marriage and family psychology class.  Who knows how THAT will go!  I was pretty bummed to see that none of my medical or science classes were available but I guess I can do that next semester.  

I have my bag all packed and I’m ready for the first day!  I really need to stay on top of things and get awesome grades.  I’m an overachiever as most of you know so I’m shooting for straight A’s.  What do ya think?  Can I do it?  Let’s see!

That’s it for now,

PE