Yes, This is My Life

You’ll notice Golden Grahams scattered across the floor due to my hyper chihuahua knocking over the bowl my daughter was eating from this morning.  The never ending amount of noise making toys my daughter has to have all out at once, even though she’s only interested in her Little People.  The cans of Sprite sitting on almost all of the tables because I can’t have caffeine since I have a concussion.  The large tote bag over by the basement door full of random things of mine that should have gone downstairs over a week ago.  The wide array of picture frames filling the white walls.  Papers all over that have no home.  The great amount of socks that have no mate and probably should be tossed but silently lay there unaccompanied.  The stacks of photographs my Mom has yet to put away from my Graduation party.

College papers.  Towels.  Pillows.  Blankets.

All silently resting amongst the house.

The sink full of dirty dishes because we’re all so busy with the hussle and bussle of our work days, and keeping up with this crazy dog and toddler.  Or the $5 pizza in the fridge from last night (which by the way is still good!).  The hamper full of days worth of clothes that should probably be put away but I’m too dizzy to stand for that long to do so.  My unmade bed which looks like a tornado hit it since I’ve been laying there for almost a week.  My unfinished walls that I started painting but have yet to complete because I became purely lazy and busy.

This is my life, and even though it can be exhausting and not so perfect, it’s all mine and I don’t want it any other way.  Except maybe I could do without this concussion 😉

PE

No – People Will Never Approve of You

I’ve learned something the past few days.  Something I already knew but often forget because I have such amazing people in my life.

I am a single teen mother, as most of you know.  I get judged constantly for it.  I’d say I’m a pretty damn good mother and am doing my best – but what have I done wrong?

Here, I’ll make a list for you.

  1. I had sex and had a child before marriage.
  2. I had sex and had a child before receiving a complete education (high school & college)
  3. I have received forms of public assistance in order to complete my education, and get a job to get myself on my feet so I can become a productive member of society.
  4. I am getting financial aid to pay for college so I can better myself and my daughter’s lives.
  5. I send my daughter to daycare so that I can work and make a living.

But here’s the thing, and what makes me mad the most.

How do you expect me to take back having sex and having a child before marriage and having a complete education?  Sorry, but life doesn’t have a rewind button.  It just doesn’t – so stop holding that over my head.  You should be happy I’m taking steps to be a productive member of society.

How do you expect me to complete my education without going to school?  Sorry but childcare isn’t free – and don’t suggest online school because I DID try that.

Same thing, how do you expect me to get a job to start getting on my feet without GOING to work?

All I have to say for financial aid is that almost anyone who is able to receive it – uses it.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Can you pay for college out of pocket?  No?  Exactly.

The last one is just too ridiculous for an explanation.

No matter what I do in life – I could cure cancer – I will ALWAYS be a failure to some people because of ONE thing I did with my at-the-time boy friend.

Thankfully I don’t rely on those people for approval of myself – I don’t rely on anyone for that.

I know I’m doing what I need to do to make a future for myself and my daughter.  Plus NEWSFLASH people I WORK – I PAY THE SAME TAXES AS YOU DO.  I’m paying for that public assistance just like all of you are.

PE

It Takes a Village to Raise a Baby

You know that saying? Or something similar. I’m not very good at recalling things to the T.

Anyways, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately. It seems that since I’ve become a parent there’s a lot more judgment parents face than I ever knew.

We’ve become a world of ‘do-it-yourselfers’ (yes I know it’s not a word). It’s come to my attention that if you don’t do it all on your own that you’re basically a worthless piece of sh*t and the world’s most horrible parent.

You bring your child to daycare because you’re a single parent and need to work to raise your child? Well you better be aware that your child’s daycare provider is part of the raising of your child.

You have someone watch your child(ren) once on the weekend once in a blue moon so maybe you can have some time to yourself or with your significant other? You’re lazy and how dare you for leaving your child with someone to have a break?! Especially if you’re a working parent mind you, because I guess working is a relaxing break from your child(ren). Definitely isn’t for me that’s for sure.

I could go on and on.

The thing is, NONE of us do it ALL on our own. Not unless you or husband works, and then one stays home with the children, you never ever have someone babysit your children, your children never spend time at a friends house, and you homeschool your children till they move out of the house. I guess there’s some people like that out there but if I didn’t get a single moment away from my child till they were 18 or out of the house, I’d probably go batty.

What’s wrong with having other people helping in the raising of your children? What happened to the days where the whole town was one big family and everyone took care of one another. It’s every man for themselves today and in my opinion it’s sad.

What’s wrong with living in a multi-generational house? That’s how they did it 50 years ago. Everyone pitched in and did what they could do to help the family. What’s wrong with that?

What kind of society are we in today? Do we go overboard with the idea of independency?

PE

The Problem with Living a Healthy Life

What exactly is a healthy life?

For every person there’s a different definition of a healthy life.

For addicts, a healthy life may just mean staying sober.

For athletes, a well-balanced diet (with probably more calories and carbs than the average person) with lots of high intensity activity is a healthy life.

For a stay at home mom, a healthy life may mean making sure each meal has the right portions of fruits/veggies/meats/etc. and that everyone gets in enough exercise.

For a college student it may mean trying to not eat Ramen for at least a day or two, and walking to class instead of driving, or climbing the stairs instead of using an elevator.

For someone with cancer, being healthy means not needing chemo anymore and being able to sleep in your own bed.

The important thing to realize about healthy living is that it’s different for every one.

So then how do we approach healthy living?

Well, if you know where you fall in the healthy living spectrum then you’re already ahead of the game!

Do you have diabetes?  That may mean you need to watch your blood sugar levels more intensely than a person without diabetes.  It may mean you need to carry around a snack in case your blood sugar drops (Healthwise Staff, 2010, October 01).

Are you overweight/obese?  Well then you might need to talk to your physician/health care provider to come up with a health plan to get on track with your weight, contact a personal trainer, get a gym membership, cut down on your “bad” foods, etc.

Do you have high cholesterol?  Then you might need to look at the labels of your foods more, and munch on snacks that are proven to lower cholesterol like oatmeal, foods high in Omega-3, nuts, olive oil, etc. (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2012).

As you can see the list goes on and on.  You need to find what your main problem area is and zoom in on it, then take it from there.

So what do you do once you zoom in on what your problem area is?  Well let me share some advice with you!

  1. Motivation – This is by far the biggest thing (at least to me) when making this lifestyle change.  What motivates you?  For me a good quote, some cute workout clothes, and a reward is all I need to get my butt up and stepping.  You need to find out what does that to you.  Is it a dream board? (a board full of pictures, quotes, ambitions, etc. displaying your goals).  A buddy?  You can pair up with someone who’s in the same boat as you, and striving for the same goal.  You two can motivate each other and keep each other on track, be each other’s shoulder to lean on.  Rewards?  Whether it’s an every day small reward for keeping your goals, or an end-of-the-month big reward, it’s a reward nonetheless.  For me, I use things like smoothies, coffee, or some junk food as my reward for keeping my goals.  Someone else I know does and end-of-the month goal and spends money on something he normally wouldn’t, like a new stereo system for his living room.  Whatever works for you, that’s all that matters!  (I highly caution you not to look in magazines for your inspiration though.  As much as you may want to, you won’t look like the people in the magazines with the ripped 6-pack and perfectly toned body.  That’s where photo shop comes into play and that’s an entirely different topic for another day)
  2. Write down your goal(s) – It’s proven that writing your goals down increase your likely hood of achieving the goal.  I don’t care where you write it down, or how, just write it down!  Use your favorite pen/pencil, and paper if it makes you feel better and enjoy looking at it better.  Which ever way is going to work for you, do it!  I write my goals down on a word document on my laptop, and if you’ve looked around, I also post them on this blog.  It holds you accountable in a sort of way.
  3. Tell someone – Exclaim it to the world, yell it from the roof tops, post it on Facebook, tweet it, blog it, call someone, text someone, just tell someone!  Telling someone is going to plant the idea that you’re trying to achieve something in someone else’s brain, and I can almost guarantee you, if you talk to them regularly, they WILL ask you.  You could even ask someone to remind you, and ask you about your goals so you know that you’re going to have to share your progress with someone (and let’s be honest, no one is too proud to shout to the world that they failed miserably).  If you don’t have someone close enough to you to speak with find an online support group, or even come to me or any other bloggers on here for support!
  4. DON’T GIVE UP – No matter what you do, no matter how difficult you may think it is, you CAN do it!  Do everything you possibly can and don’t give up!  Even if you slack off and fall off track for a while, don’t admit defeat till you accomplish those goals, you will thank yourself in the long run.

I hope these 4 tips help you in your healthy lifestyle journey as you either enter it, or are looking to change it up!

Eat Some Cookies,

Payton

Sources: Mayo Clinic Staff. (2012, July 27). Cholesterol: Top 5 foods to lower your numbers . Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-cholesterol/in-depth/cholesterol/art-20045192?pg=1

Healthwise Staff. (2010, October 01). Diabetes: Dealing with low blood sugar from insulin. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/dealing-with-low-blood-sugar-from-insulin-for-diabetes

Struggling – We All Do it

What do YOU struggle with?  Are you currently working on it?  What do you do to counteract the struggle if you know it’s going to happen (for example, you know you’re a procrastinator so you make it a priority to sit down and get things done as soon as you know of what you need to do like a homework assignment or project for work)?

SHARE BELOW! 🙂

Our Relationships

With how busy we are on a daily basis today compared to that of 60 years ago it’s hard to form deep bonds with other people.  How many Facebook friends do you have?  I’ll tell you that I have 212.  But how many do I really talk to?  I’d say less than 20 – unless you include family.

We have artificial relationships.  We have relationships with screens and pictures.  Technology can be helpful in many ways, for example, long distance relationships, keeping in touch family and friends that live far away, work, etc.  But we often get so caught up in this technology that we sacrifice the real relationships we have right in front of us every day.

I mean how often are we skipping a one on one conversation with those around us, to scroll through our Facebook feed?  I’d say probably most of us do it more often than we would like to admit.

So what do you do to balance this out?  Here’s some tips:

  • Put down the technology and have a real conversation with someone around you
  • Instead of scrolling through Facebook on your phone when out in public, strike up a conversation
  • Truly appreciate those around you who are in your lives every day- those are the ones you can count on, not your 100’s of Facebook friends
  • Love those around you, really love them because they love you too
  • Get to know someone new (and not through the internet) go out and make a new friend!

These are just a few tips and tricks but they are sure to help you survive this technology age without getting lost in the hustle and bustle!

Happy web surfing

PE

My Senior Challenge

My whole schooling career up until senior year were pretty much the same.  I was always the quiet girl.  I felt people criticizing me all the time.  I was awkward.  I got bullied.  I got teased.  I felt completely alone.  I didn’t talk to pretty much anyone in my class because most of them were rude and mean.

You would think that after having a child in my junior year, that my life at school would be even more hell.


For those who don’t know, I left school after the first trimester of my Junior year.  I was about 8 months pregnant when I left.  I had my daughter just under a month after leaving.  I didn’t drop out though, I went to online school.  I became very depressed and decided that after my junior year was completed, I would go back and re-enroll at my old high school for my senior year.  I knew my daughter deserved a happy mother, and I deserved my senior year as well. 


Before senior year began I made it a point to do the following things:

  1. Get out of my comfort zone – I rarely ever spoke to people I didn’t know.  I was shy and socializing gave my anxiety.  I decided I would talk to anyone and everyone.  It didn’t matter.  I just talked to people.
  2. Make amends – Being a teen mother, I fell under a lot of scrutiny.  I made the choice to not necessarily forget what certain people said to me or behind my back, but to let it go.  I ended up sitting next to one of the girls who talked very badly about me when I was pregnant.  I can’t even tell you what she said about me to this day because I let it go.  We talked in class every day.  We weren’t friends or anything, but we got along and were able to speak like adults with each other.  It meant the world to me to get rid of that anger and forgive her.  Even though I never actually told her that I forgave her.
  3. Have fun! – all of my other years of school I didn’t do much for fun.  I was too focused on school and didn’t really have any friends to have fun with.  So I decided I would have fun whether it was alone or with friends!
  4. Participate – I always sat in the back of the class observing.  I didn’t participate much because of my anxiety.  My senior year I took every advantage to participate.  It brought out the social butterfly in me and I loved it!

These things may not be comparable with your life since we all face different challenges.  But these were mine.  I faced my challenges head on and now I can say confidently that I’m more outgoing, and much more socially comfortable than I was before.  I have made great strides this past year, and I challenge all of the current High School Seniors across the whole country to do the same!  Really pinpoint what your challenge areas are, and utilize senior year to improve on them!

I got to become a newer and better version of myself.  I also got to get closer with my class and spend our senior year together, which was amazing.  I hope you’re able to do the same with your senior year!  MAKE IT WORTHWHILE!

make your own senior challenge

PE

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Bye-Bye WordPress!

Well, it’s that time again.  Another semester of school is on the horizon (actually more like a few doors down).  Classes start on Monday and I’m going to be going to school full-time this semester; unlike the last.  I have a lot more on my plate now, and it’s exciting!

That’s why I wanted to let you all know that I will be gone for the next few months.  I want to give school my full attention so I can receive all A’s.  I would really like 100% on all of my assignments as well, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here.

Even though I will be leaving, I will go through all of my posts and schedule some of them to run again for the next few months.  Just to keep some conversations going, bring back some information and ideas, etc.  Especially for all of my new followers that I have recently gained!

I hope you all are having a great new year, and have a even better spring!

And for my racing fans and drivers out there, I will see you in just a few short months! 🙂

life is nothing but a game, you just have to learn how to play it

PE